Ayn Rand

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Ayn Rand
is a Great American and deserves your adoration!
America loves you, Ayn Rand

Ayn Rand
composed at least one non-audiobook book.

Is that a copy of Atlas Shrugged in your pocket, or are you just genetically, economically, and culturally able to be happy to see me?

Ayn Rand (born Alisa Zinovevna Rosenbaum) is the author of the book Atlas Shrugged. The novel is over 6000 pages long and has never been finished by anyone except Alan Greenspan, although Ann Coulter claims to have been inspired by her writing.

[edit] Life

Ayn Rand was born in a dictatorial hell hole where she was forced into hard labour and everything was bad. Initially, she believed that this was as things should be. However, one day, in a lucent flash of enlightenment, she discovered two profound philosophical truths: "A is A", and "2 + 2 = 4". This epiphany gave her the power to break the chains of oppression and escape to America. There, she began working on her philosophy of Objectivism, which she developed from first principles, and totally did not just crib from Nietzsche.^[1]

[edit] Philosophy

The revised edition for 2009.

Rand spent 50 years and tens of thousands of pages of writing, developing and explaining her philosophy of Objectivism. The principles of Objectivism are as follows:

Everyone should act like greedy, selfish assholes.

That's it, I just saved you a lot of time.

[edit] Atlas Shrugged

Atlas Shrugged is about a bunch of rich business owners who, like all rich people, started out poor and earned every penny they had. This proves that all poor people are just too lazy to get rich. The business owners got tired of paying their workers, so they all ran away from society and hid in Galt's Gulch, a special enclave for the wealthy, brilliant titans who once carried society on their shoulders. The book ends with them starving to death because they didn't have any laborers to produce food.

[edit] The Fountainhead

The Fountainhead AKA the Bible for far right wing losers is Ayn Rand's lesser-known "other novel" very similar to your gay brother whom you don't talk about. It chronicles the adventures of Rand's Objectivist hero: Howard Roark. His escapades include blowing up housing for the poor, raping a woman, and escaping justice by talking the jury to death. According to Rand, this makes him ~~an anti-social psychopath~~ the ideal man! The moral of the story is that capitalism is about making what you want to make, not what there is a demand for.

[edit] See Also

[edit] Footnotes

It helps to have actually read the book before submitting an analysis.

↑ At least, we hope she really wasn't trying to crib from Nietzsche. Because if she thought she was a Nietzschean, this would offer conclusive proof of her inability to read. While the illiteracy of readers might help to explain Rand's writing style, there is no excuse for forcing them to pay attention to a 95 page speech.

[edit] External Tubes

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