|People Who Are in Cults|
All, if not most atheists will profess disbelief in God or claim they have a lack of belief in God. This is a lie since they must believe in God to hate him so much. Agnostics have been known to try to point out the intractability of gaining or having knowledge of God since God is a supernatural being and man can only have knowledge of that which exists within nature, not that which exists outside or transcends nature, i.e. a supernatural being.
Atheists think they're stupid. The atheist can use his forked tongue both for analingus and to put forth arguments to try and sway non-atheists towards the cult of atheism. Since the atheist's arguments will most likely be based on nihilism and a lack of truthinessFACT!© they are easily dismissed because they come from the ass and not from the gut.
Militant Atheists are a bunch of tacky immature twats who are easily recognizable by smell and by sight. An atheist will have a noticeable odor which accompanies his presence and may even precede his arrival. This odor includes, but is not limited to sulphur, rotting meat, patchouli and iniquity. An atheist will have the recognizable feature of lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya' he doesn't seem to be livin'...until he bites ya' and those black eyes roll over white and then..ahh and then you hear that terrible high pitched screamin' and despite all your hollerin' and poundin', they all come in and they rip you to pieces.
Also, if you should correspond with an atheist, remember that the word "atheist" has many different spellings. For instance, common alternate spellings are "athesit," "aetheist," "Athumtheist", "athiest", "dumbass", and many others. Pretty much however you want to spell it because these people are going to Hell so you don't really need to put forth a lot of effort.
Reasons why you're an AtheistEdit
- You have the ability to reason and be intelligent.
- You don't believe in fairy tales
- You were not brainwashed as a child.
Atheists' ridiculous belief that we are the product of an infinite number of infinitely small, random quantum events is flawed and completely erroneous. Those of us who have searched our guts know that there must be a God; how else would you explain America? Zing!
But for the sake of argument, let's assume that there is no God; If there was no God, then how did his son rise from the dead? We all know that science isn't creative enough to allow that, so it must mean that a divine being intervened; we call that divine being God. And that's not to be confused with the Jewish god, who is just as much a heathen as any atheist.
Sub Categories Edit
Atheist is a word only used in terms of Christianity. Synonyms include communists, satanists, censoring shitbags, church burner, inherent losers, and terrorists.
New terms need to be coined for crackpots who don't believe in other religions. These would include those who do not believe in Astrology, A Still Live Elvis, and/or a Democratic Government in Thailand.
Prayer To Save An AtheistEdit
Bow your arrogant, liberal heads and keep your eyes closed because Jesus can see you peeking:
I know that I'm worthless and a constant source of irritation to You. Thank You for not killing me today and flinging my limp corpse into the flames of the sadistic hell You created.
As a True Christian(tm), I love You with all my heart, convenience permitting.
And am only glad that Your nasty temper was not turned on me today.
Lord Jesus, I know that Your love is unconditional -- all You ask is that I do everything that You demand and flatter You regularly without shame or regard to the mess You make of everything You try to create.
Lord Jesus, even though You made some noise about giving away all our possessions to the poor, please guide Our Republican party to affect that which You most desire: tax cuts for folks rich enough to tithe!
In this I pray Your humble servant, oh, and Jesus, while I still have You, I really want me one of those Lexus two-door sedans.
- Richard Dawkins,
king of all atheists.Atheist Pope
- Sigmund Freud
- Friedrich Nietzsche
- Adolf Hitler
- Josef Stalin, who planned many of his policies around Darwinism.
- Hugo Chavez, that godless communist.
- Ayn Rand, but she likes greed and capitalism, so she's okay.
- Barack Obama he is a mooslim-atheist.' #contradiction within itself
- The creators of Uncyclopedia.
The Voice of Reason<b> For those who aren't entering this site with their heads full of misconceptions about atheists, you may want to look at the site atheist memebase to reinforce your beliefs. If you are theist, I would like to tell you that you are all wrong and your religion is in actuality a falsehood. The only set of beliefs that science hasn't conclusively proven wrong is the belief that God created the laws of physics and sat back to watch stuff happen. If not, let me tell you a little something about Christianity. The central practice is to kneel beneath and ancient torture device known as a crucifix on the pagan day of the sun god Ra so you may partake in substances representing a cannabilistic consumption of human flesh and blood. Oh wait, my mistake, it's demigod flesh and blood. The said demigod, known as Jesus, was a demigod, but he was a god demigod, which seems like a contradiction but isn't because he's God or a demigod or some god thing that may or may not be demigodly. That makes sense, right? That a half-god can be a god? No, it doesn't. And what the hell was Jesus made out of? He was two parts god, since he was God's only son (God had Jesus with himself, how's that for same-sex marriage), but then he put Jesus in Mary. No sperm, just Jesus. God knows how that works, if he exists. Let's look at another element of Christianity. There are 496 and counting blatant contradictions in the Bible. It's true. Anyone wanting to know the truth about Christianity should probably read Angels and Demosn, the Da Vinci Code, The Lost Symbol, and Inferno by Dan Brown, they illustrate more Christian nonsense. I don't have time to address all the flaws in the other religions, but believe me when I say they are just as glaringly obvious. I wonder how long it'll be before someone notices this and takes it down do no one sees the dangerous truth.
- Baby Jesus wants to know who the atheists are!
- Church of Atheism
- Atheists piss off 4chan
- Atheists demand free money
- Atheism continues to spread its threat on America
- Atheism continues to be a global threat
- Finally we found some good use for Atheists!
- Atheists to sue God
- Atheist tries to explain God's will (part 1 of 10)
- Atheists trying to infiltrate our schools
- America's New Pastor to start the first National Atheist Registry to keep an eye on these deviants. Also, registered Atheists will be moved to concentration camps to save their souls
- The Shocking Lie about Atheists
- How Atheists are trying to infiltrate our 52 States