Arkansas
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
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See Also: |
The "Great" State of ARKANSAS 
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| Capitol: | The Clinton Family Brothel |
| State Flower: | Fresh Dasies covered with Clinton "dew" |
| Official Language: | Foxworthian |
| State Bird: | Stained Dress Chicken |
| State Motto: | Git-R-Done |
| Nickname: | The "Why the fuck there an 'S' at the end of our state name" state |
| Governor: | George Clinton, brother of Bill. |
| State Anthem: | Dueling Banjos |
| Population: | 1,245- Half of which are Intern loving Clintons |
| Standard MPH: | 69, in Honor of their formerly revered Leader. |
| Principal imports: | Pemican Beef Jerky and Bibles |
| Principal exports: | Hilary, and subsequently the sulferous ash of the pits of hell |
| Principal industries: | False teeth manufacturing |
| Fun Fact # 1: | Insanely jealous of Kansas, manifests itself in the first two letters of the state's name. |
| Fun Fact # 2: | Is the home of several people that are widely know to be blood relatives of Lucifer. |
Arkansas (also known as "Missouri's Mexico" and "Louisiana's Canada") and pronounced ar can saw, is the birthplace of Bill Clinton, the 42nd President of the United States. There is nothing else notable about this state except for its god in which every Arkansan must worship; Walmart. In fact, 96% of Arkansans over the age of 13 work for Walmart and or Tyson. Also note that once moving to the state you will rapidly lose brain cells. If you believe in evolution and or are not a Baptist you will be stoned to death by a guy named Bubba.
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[edit] Discovery
Arkansas was discovered by a Louisiana hunting party in 1832 who got drunk and lost in the woods. There, they discovered mentally retarded women that would let them have sex with them. Thus the citizens of Arkansas are descendants of drunk Louisianans and retards. After this so called "discovery" by these Louisianans, Wal-Mart sued, as they were the rightful discoverers and owners of the state
[edit] History
The history of Arkansas is very long and complex. In the year of our lord 1422, a rock was spotted by the Chinese on the Arkansas River and they said "this is where we will build our great society that will reign for 1000 years". But in 1526 Jesus came to America and saw the dirty Chink commies and wiped them clean from Arkansas and then educated the Native Americans in the ways of Christianity. Jesus would later recount this story to Joseph Smith in 1943. Arkansas was again forgotten, but was rediscovered in 1834, when Sam Walton was on a journey west to California. On the way there though, he had heard that California was full of hippies and gays, so he stopped short and ended up in what would soon become north west Arkansas. In 1845 he established the world's first Wal-Mart and soon after many rednecks migrated to the territory, as they heard Wal-Mart gave great benefits. Nothing else of much importance happened in the state until Brooks and Dunn wrote the song "Hillbilly Deluxe" in 2006, which is now the official state song. In 2008, George Bush sought refuge in the state, as it was the only place people still thought the war in Iraq was a good decision.
[edit] Achieving Statehood
Arkansas achieved statehood by demanding that if statehood wasn't acquired, they would release the redneck scourge upon their dirty liberal Yankee asses.
[edit] Arkansas Today
Arkansas today is a vast wasteland of trailer homes and ignorance. 98% of the population lives in trailer homes and those who do not live in trailer homes live in the ghettos of Little Rock. Take note that if you ever find yourself in south Little Rock and are white, you will be shot. Also note that if you are black and are not in south Little Rock you will be shot, but rednecks will say they thought you "was a black bear", so black people should avoid 99.8% of the state. Arkansas today has very few centers for education; in fact, the education system in Arkansas is rumored to have gone extinct by most peoples accounts. The Edumacation was possibly spotted on the White River in the year 2004, but this has been disputed, as the video showing the edumacation is very blurry.
[edit] Arkansas Landmarks
- The Bill Clinton Presidential Library
- The Bill Clinton statues, one per every citizen of the state
- Walmart
- World's Largest Fiberglass Crow
[edit] Famous Arkansans
- Johnny Cash
- Billy Bob Thorton
- William "the Bill" Clinton
- and the Walmart guy(BRING BACK LAY-AWAY)
[edit] A Typical Day in Arkansas
Most Arkansans start the day off with a 6 pack of beer before going to work at Walmart. Once they get off work and go back to their trailer home, they usually eat a meal consisting of grilled spam and beer. Later in the night they usually consume more beer and then pass out. If they get lucky, they may have their really hot cousin over that has 5 teeth (which are considered symbols of status as they are rare) and procreate.
[edit] Laws Unique To Arkansas
It is illegal to mispronounce Arkansas while in Arkansas, because in 1878, some guy named Rick from Kansas came to a bar in Little Rock, and the people were like, "damn man, that Rick guy from Kansas was a real fag". So the Arkansas govment soon outlawed anyone from saying the word Kansas, because everyone from there must be a fag since Rick was, and anyone muttering the word Kansas must, through reasons of deduction, be a fag themselves. Coincidentally, being gay in Arkansas is also illegal and punishable by death, so one can see the reasoning behind this.
