Arab
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Arabs (pronounced AY-RABS) have a very mysterious history. Though it is widely believed that either Borat or Ghandi was the first Arab, not much is known about their early civilization beyond Ali Baba and his 4,001 Arabian Nights.
So, sit right back in your mom's basement as Wikiality.com's harams offer this in-depth look at all things Arab.
For a general overview of Arab culture, please see the 1992 Disney cartoon-umentary film Aladdin. For a more detailed look, see "Ishtar"
The following are not preferred methods of learning about Arabians: talking to an Arab (unless they're Good Arabs; like Fouad Ajami), traveling, reading books about Arabianism, or reading books in general.
Please click here for individual pages on each specific type of Arabs.
Contents |
[edit] Arab Basics
Where can I find an Arab?
Now, we can get into fancy-pants historical details and academic mumbo-jumbo, but for the purposes of this concise truthopedia, I'll just give it to you plain: Arabs reside in the Middle East. You can find 'em in desert wastelands like Palestine, Israelistan, Libyanistan, Saudi Arabistan, and Ruskastan.
Where else? Europe, duh. While das Vaterland, I mean the fatherland I mean Europe was sleeping and/or doing bong hits, the dark heathens have been leaping over their fences (see Mexicans).
Postwar, limp-wristed Europe finds itself with 4% a large percentage of its population working covertly to undermine Western Civilization. In other words, Europe may never is quickly becoming an extension of the Middle East. For your educational benefit, hourly lectures on the inevitable Arabization of Europe can be heard on your favorite Talk Radio stations, as well as on the always trustworthy Fox News.
Who is their leader?
The leader of the Arab terror nation was Adolf Nasser, an Islamofascist
What should I do if I happen upon an Arab?
Hmmm... that depends. Where are you? Are you in America, or in the Middle East? Perhaps you are on an Air Craft Carrier, or giving a speech in front of Congress? Do you need this Arab to testify to the success of your long-term strategy for bringing peace to his war-torn region, or would you prefer that this Arab justify your bringing war to his relatively stable region?
If you've found the Arab in its natural habitat, is it trying to sell you something, or to blow you up? Do you have a prior relationship with this Arab? Is there more than one? How many people are with you? Are any of them armed? If it is a lady Arab, how much of her can you see beneath all those layers of cloths? Have you besmirched her honor in any way? Would you like to?
As you can see, dealing with Arabs is a complicated business. Perhaps it is best to avoid them altogether.
What do they look like?
In the Time Before Political Correctness Reigned, Adolf Hitler called Arabs "lower than monkeys." Make of that what you will. Discerning Patriots will remember that this German leader also said the same of Jews, Commies, the gays, and liberals. (As the Blacks say, "Don't hate the playa, hate the game".)
Arabs have facial hair. Well, the men do. We're not sure about the women, because well, you know why.
Arabs wear robes.
Arabs wear sandals.
Arabs have facial hair and wear robes and sandals, but these are in no way similar to how Jesus had facial hair and wore robes and sandals.
[edit] Whew, Glad That's Over!
Wait! Not so fast...
[edit] There's More?
Yes, lots more...
Many thousands of years ago, Satan birthed triplets, whom he named "The Brothers Semitikovs." One son was called "Jew", the other "Ethiopian", and the last "Arab". Arab and Jew were a lot like Able and Cain, except that both of them resembled Cain. Arab and Jew had large families, which became great races of men.
The Son Called Jew, in a Kosher Nutshell In the Torah, it is written that they are "like grains of the sand." In the Bible, they are the "Babylonians". In Merchant of Venice, they're Shylock.
The Son Called Ethiopian, in a Well-stocked Pantry This son is so mysterious that some people wonder how many can fit on the head of a pin.
The Son Called Arab, in a Burqa All Arabs blow themselves up at least once (sometimes twice) in their lives, beat their wives daily (or biweekly at least), burn American flags at weekly rallies in every capital of every Muslim country (Zanzibar, Saudi City, Arabistan, etc.), hate freedoms, and eat babies. Right?
[edit] What Arabs Believe
The Qur'an-reading, Mohammed-worshipping, Muslim kind, from the cult of Islam
These are very peculiar and dangerous individuals, rather like talking dynamite. If left alone, they will incessantly recite their strategy guide over and over, until they become dizzy and fall asleep. However, if touched, provoked or even stared at for too long, side-effects such as zombification or explosion may occur. Proceed with caution.
There is also a particularly bizarre kind of Muslimic Arab sect called "Whirling Dervishes" who get their kicks from spinning around in circles for days at a time. No one knows why they do this, except maybe for the head-rush. They also like poetry, and some guy called "Sufi." This is obviously the gayest form of Islam, with the possible exception of Gayslamofascism.
The kind that wages War on Christmas with the help of the Anti-Claus
These Arabs are typical. They have long beards, they sneaked into our country on the back of a truck filled with trash and found the smell lovely enough to see them to America. When they do arrive of course, they start protesting about "Freedom of speech" when they are told not chant death to America, they protest that freedom of religion is obstructed by having churches present and they above all hate America, because our great country saves their stinky, diseased asses from terrorists. Now you know why Mummy and Daddy don't vote for liberals (if they do, pack your bags and report to GITMO!).
The kind that belongs to one of the following terrorist organizations
The scum bag of society, many scientists now postulate that Arabs evolved from a horrible experiment conducted by a liberal in the 5th century BC. Apparently, a rat, a gorilla and a rabid bear were all consumed at once by a democrat, spat out after some indigestion and then horribly reformed into the world's first Arab, Borat. Of course, Islamdom = Arabdom, so all Muslims are Arabs, all Arabs are terrorists, and everything makes perfect sense...
But these terrorists are what the Surrendery cheese-eating monkeys call "creme de le creme". They are the scum bag of the scum bags. And the scum bags love em! That is, if Aabs could ever love, which, with four wives, clearly prooves that they can love in quantity, though not quality.
On many occasions, Stephen Colbert and his army of Eagles have taken prisoner many of these people animals - as a true citizen to the Colbert nation, you have a duty to aid - enlist at your nearest Eagle nest!
[edit] Where Arabs Live
The Shiite or Sunni kind of Arab that fights freedom in Iraq
So smelly, even the average Arab is not too pleased with these guys, because in the average Arab's opinion, they are not meeting their Iraqi civilian death quota for Satan each day.
Sunnis and Shias are really just the same. The only difference is that they can't agree on how to spell the word T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-T. Of course, they're both wrong and so they should just blow each other up, all the way to hell...
The kind that lives in Iran under the dictatorship of Mahamoud Ahamedjihateamericahad Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
[edit] Arabs In America
The Association of Radical American Bears(A-RAB)
Though less of a direct danger at the moment, all Arabs are not to be trusted. Oh no. A-rats and A-rabs included.
Like their less hirsute terrorist cousins, A-RAB members are fanatical, and will do anything to hurt The Baby Jesus and Lady Liberty. Your donations will fund our successful war against these terrorists!
The kind that hates the Baby Jesus, Stephen Colbert, Mel Gibson, and The Greatest President Ever
Most of these are at GITMO right now, where they belong. Here, they have limited access to the Qu'ran, but apart from that, life for them isn't much different from their "normal" life in Islamdom; they have access to the toilet once a month, to the shower twice a year.
They will, of course, all burn in a righteous smiting hell.
The kind that wants to elect The First Arab President of the United States
These Arabs are quite varied. Whilst some try to be decent Americans voting for whom they seem is best, many are stupid and believe that this is the only solution to the Arab-Israeli wars, which , by the way, if you hadn't noticed are started by the Jews and frequently won by them too. EEH! WRONG! He'll help the Jews even more.
Oh and being Arab, they can NEVER be true Americans. No, not ever. Get out.
Ooooh. And voting for who seems best? THE REPUBLICANS ARE THE BEST - NO EXCUSES, VOTE FOR LIBERTY, NOT LIBERAL!
[edit] Arab Culture
The Arabian Nights Are dark, and you wouldn't want to get caught out in a back alley with your pants down. Believe me.
The first Arab kingdom was in Saudi Arabia, and was made up entirely of sand and mud. However, the Arabs didn't like sand very much, so their Arabian Kingdom didn't go so well. It still doesn't.
Arabs have a very complex lifestyle. They enjoy their cuisine and will often kill their fiftieth wife to prove it.
Each Arab is entitled to have 50,003,094 wives exactly. However, if an Arab is to have more than one of this number, then "Allah kill you!"
Arabs work as camel drivers and owners in Arabdom. No one knows why, or how this makes money. But it just does, don't ask, asking only helps the terrorists.
Arabs live in very well made tents, like these: /\
They can withstand winds of up to 3mph, so when our planes do fly over them, "Allah show us".
Modern Arabians When the TV was brought to much of Arabdom, many rejoiced at the prospect of Arabs watching The Colbert Report. Unfortunately, the liberal media has managed to block out the signal, so many Arabs are denied truthiness, a heinous sin for which all liberals will burn in hell for eternity. The poor Arabs, denied of Our Glorious Stephen and the democratic American truthyisms that would otherwise be theirs, must instead choose between the all-too-bland televisual diet of Al Jazeera and U.S. Psy Ops "Freedom One" programing. These are virtually indistinct, and neither offer Tek Jansen or a Sport Report.
[edit] Good Other things about Arabs
- Arabs own the world's oil industry. Frequently they raise oil prices because they try to hurt America, but whenever they did, Saddam would invade their country. With Saddam gone, Israel can do the job.
- Arabs write in scribble.
- Arabs not only control the oil industry, they are the primary ingredient of oil. Ground up Arabs is a lot like Peanut oil.
- Arabs can count from 1 to 5 faster than any living man. When employed in thousands, they can count to very large numbers, like a million, a trillion or even a brazillion. This makes them semi-useful bankers.
- Arabs sometimes succumb to eating their own babies; killing their own children who refuse to wear a veil to cover their faces.
[edit] Secret Arabs
Do not share this list with Arabs. They will slice the secret Arabs heads off and replace them with new secret Arabs. This is based on good intelligence filtered for the Greatest President Ever.
