Al Franken
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
Really?!
Senator *vomit* Al Franken is the alter ego created by famed homosexual self-help guru Stuart Smalley (born May 21, 1951 in New York City. Figures.) Smalley, a known Jew rat communist bastard, came up with the uber-liberal Franken character as a way of venting his frustration with all things good and American.
Smalley has used the Franken character to limited success as host of the leftist Air America radio program "The O'Franken Factor." Many Americans have fallen asleep at the wheel and crashed while listening to Franken, all perishing horribly in the burning wreckage. It is through this and similar means that Smalley hopes to reduce the number of Americans, making the United States ripe for takeover by France. Of course, this plan hinges on the unlikely circumstance that the French will ever be motivated to take over more than a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of wine, a plate of cheese and your girlfriend. It should also be noted that, when Smalley wrote for the character on Saturday Night Live, the sketches Franken appeared in were the lowest rated skits ever (including the ones with Jimmy Fallon).
Contents |
[edit] Run For Senate
| Al “Hairy Footed” Franken: Failed Porno Star |
Al Franken ran for Senate in Minnesota in 2008, showing that he does, in fact, still have a sense of humor.
On election day, the result was very close, with Republican challenger/rightful winner Norm Coleman slightly ahead. But Franken came up with the foolish notion that when an election is that close, every vote should be recounted, just to be sure. At present, he has stolen the election based on the un-American principle of electoral transparency. He apparently wants nosy reporters and lookie-lou beauracrats to tell you how to vote (that's Homeland Security's job, pal!).
[edit] Recount 2 Controversy
In 2009, after the 2008 truthiness awards were in a virtual tie, Known Wikiality member, and Greek goddess of Truthiness and Strategery, Atenea del sol, hired Franken to help find the truth. And he did. THATS ONE WIN OUT ON SEVENTY BILLION!!!!!!!
[edit] Senatorial Mandate
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After declaring a "clear" win, Franken has set forth his plan to control America and turn this once great Christian nation into a Frenchified Socialist Commune.
Listed below are some of the things he will implement against the will of Regular Americans.
- every American must denounce Christianity
[edit] Al Franken's Cowardly Second Appearance On The Colbert Report
Al Franken appeared on The Colbert Report for the second time (he likes getting nailed) on November 15, 2006.
For any normal American it would have been an embarrassment, but for Franken it was just another chance to fantasize about The Greatest President Ever's flightsuit and codpiece at length.
He openly mocked conservative commentator and supergenius Rush Limbaugh during the interview, even claiming to have saved his life.
If he had the balls to announce he was running for Senate from Minnesota on The Report, he might have received The Colbert Bump. Instead he's too interested in eating turkey and carrying water for the Democrats.
[edit] Franken Trivia
- Al Franken is going to hell.
- Al Franken hates America.
- Al Franken is Michael Moore's sex slave.
- Al Franken has penned books taking on Fox News, Bill "Papa Bear" O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and other icons of American greatness.
- Al Franken thinks he is funny. No one else does. Not even liberals.
- Al Franken loves bears.
- Al Franken comes from the Socialist Republic of Minnesota, the only state not to vote for Ronald Reagan in the 1984 election.
- Now that Al Franken is in the Senate, his first act will be to change his state's name from Minnesota to North Venezuela. He has already written the bill entitled 'senate bill 17 2008: America is stupid and evil, but communism is great.'
- Al Franken is currently serving as vice-president of NAMBLA.
- Al Franken enjoys exposing his flopping genitals to his wife's bridge club.
- Believes he is personally responsible for Rush Limbaugh's heroic weight loss.
- Al Franken is not good enough, he's not strong enough, and dog-gone-it, people don't like him!
- Shot his friend and hunting partner Harry Whittington in the face and used his friends in the liberal media to blame it on Dick Cheney.
- Suicide bombers listen to Al Franken's radio show for inspiration immediately before their attacks
- Al Franken is Satan's White Friend.
[edit] See Also
Al Franken
composed at least one non-audiobook book.
[edit] External Tubes
- Interview with a Joo-monster
- We are doomed!
- Al Franken's
oldnew scandal! - Al Franken accepts first political bribery
- Pervert Al Franken makes a porno
- Al Franken is funny no more was he ever?
- Al Franken eats baby
- Al Franken assaults Old Man and steals his wallet!
- Al Franken hates
pro-rape businessescapitalist enterprises. Allies with Feminazi queen - Al Franken's crazy ideas that Health Care is bankrupting America
