Agnostic
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
 |
| Cults |
| People Who Are in Cults |
Agnostics are either normal folk who "don't know" if they believe in God or "have better things to do" than think about such matters at this point.
Men like Colbert can see them for what they are though: atheists without balls. Ironically, this means they're gutsy enough to realize that, someday, George W. Bush will be proven correct.
Unfortunately, agnostics are genetically incapable of taking a position - on anything - except that they can not take a position. This makes them very unreliable during midterm elections.
Agnostics often try to say there's no way to attain knowledge of the supernatural using the natural or some such thing in an attempt to defend their view with, of all things, reasoned discourse. The fact that they prefer using their heads and calm words to shouting out raw emotions from the gut should tell you something about these cowards.
Contents |
[edit] Not to be confused with...
Agnostics should not be confused with Meteorologists, although some of the core beleifs of the two groups are remarkably similar.
Nor should Agnostics be confused with Doctors. While neither group has the balls to commit to any specific belief, Doctors are distinguished by their white coats and aura of confidence. Like Agnostics, Doctors will only admit to "practicing" rather than "knowing." Equally, although Doctors may project great confidence, they actually have less of it than Agnostics, as demonstrated by their large insurance purchases. Agnostics, on the other hand, rely solely on hope.
[edit] Factoids
- Mating call: "I need more data to make an informed decision!"
[edit] Beliefs
Due to the lack of spiritual balls, Agnostics really don't know what they believe without holding some huge conference and discussing options for hours on end.
Their beliefs are the theological equivalent to a horse designed by a committee instead of an intelligently designed naked, shaved and martyred virgin beat to a bloody pulp and nailed to a cross.
[edit] Afterlife
The Agnostic afterlife will be an interesting concept. First they don't believe in Jesus, then they wonder if He will allow them entry into Heaven.
Ha!
Good luck with that, losers!
