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"Anonymous"
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AnonymousProtest

Members protesting in London, 2008

ANONYMOUS is the name of an evil Bearrorist hacker organization on the Internets secretly run by the CIA. The members of ANONYMOUS are an underground group of sophisticated 12 year olds who battle the wholesome internets community, often without the knowledge of their parents. Activities of ANONYMOUS have included staging raids on MySpace, exposing the endings of the Harry Potter novels, blowing up innocent SUVs, and engaging in goatsee terrorist hacker tactics. Nowadays, though, Anonymous has died off; aligning yourself with the organization will result in ridicule and shunning. Because Anonymous has no leader, they are Anarchists, and thus, ANTI-AMERICAN, and pro-terrorists (if they aren't already considered terrorists). They have unknowingly started the Apocalypse just for what they call "lulz"(A commie term for cabbage) by staging worldwide protests against $cientology in the hopes that the group will release some famous Hollywood actors and actresses from their torture facilities in California. Epic Win or Fail? Only time will decide.

AnonymousColbert

A well cultured man who shall remain Anonymous

Quote open clear3 Because none of us are as cruel as all of us. Quote close clear2
~ANONYMOUS


Anonymous' Identity Revealed!?Edit

NotSureIfSerious

Oh, they're serious alright!

The internets are abuzz with the possibility that the identity of the elusive prankster known only as "Anonymous" has been revealed!

After scores of data were shoveled out of the tubes, intrepid heroes came up with a name: Shirley!

And yes, authorities are serious that this "Shirley" is Anonymous and that she's been behind all the pranksterism and all those cat pictures that have clogged the tubes lo these many years.

Some suspect Shirley's like a modern-day Dread Pirate Roberts, however.

Project Chanology Edit

Project Chanology, an evil half-assed plan of ANONYMOUS channers, is a vain attempt to bring down the Church of $cientology (CoS) after CoS try to stop the distribution of pornographic materials of Tom Cruise and Tentacle-Hentai-Anime of Xenu. CoS claim copyright ownership of all Cruise Porn and Xenu Hentai as those are trade secrets and have them removed from YouTube and Rapidshit. Once those perverted ANONYMOUS channers are denied of porn and hentai, "War on $cientology" was declared and several operations were launched. Operation CoSplay involves DDoS attacks and gigaloader on CoS servers worldwide and CoS-related servers (like Religious Technology Center). Operation Chanology involves seeding materials with copyright claim by CoS (like "Operating Thetan level III") over the tubes. Operation Thetan or Operation Thetanfulness involves faxing black papers to CoS, phoning CoS for Tom, and mailing spaghetti and meatballs to CoS. Operation Xenu involves organized protesting across the street of CoS centers. Operation H-Bomb or Operation Wall-of-Fire involves linkbombing the phrase "dangerous cult"[1][2][3][4] and "brainwashing cult"[5][6][7][8] to CoS tube. Since CoS is too dumb to just ignore the ANONYMOUS channers thereby removing their interest in the war, let's hope the perverts and the aliens destroy each other.

Logos Canalis Edit

The word "Chanology" is an unimaginative trademark infringement of the word "Scientology" and the phrase "Project Chanology" signifies the pitiful ignorance of the collective intelligence of ANONYMOUS. The word "Scientology" takes the roots of "scient-", meaning wisdom of truthiness, and "-ology", meaning wisdom of reason. When joined together, they are utterly redundant and devoid of any wisdom. Channers would want others to believe that the word "Chanology" takes the roots of "chan-", from "channer" from "channel" from "canal" from "canalis" meaning a water pathway of information symbolizing a method of communication, and "-ology", from "logos" meaning wisdom of reason. Channers wants "Chanology" to symbolize a communication of wisdom, but "Project Chanology" is nothing but noise of the consensus gentium in the webular tubes. This war is just redundancy versus noise.

Message to ScientologyEdit

Message to Scientology02:03

Message to Scientology

Anonymous Issued Declaration of Success02:37

Anonymous Issued Declaration of Success

Issued on January 21, 2008 Declaration of success

ANONYMOUS Server DownEdit

Various gather places (partyvan) for ANONYMOUS went down over February 11, 2008 and February 12, 2008.

Quote open clear3 So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the war for Truthiness has just begun! Stephen Colbert will hit you with his mighty lightning bolt of truthiness and you will become nice Christian Conservatives! Quote close clear2
~Author


[This comment, along with its images, is no longer available due to a copyright claim by the Religious Technology Center, Los Angeles, California, USA on behalf of the The Church of $cientology, International™©®. Please use a computer located in Germany to view this comment.]

Battle CryEdit

Quote open clear3 Welcome to The First Church of Xenu
Xenuism is the New Satanism
Xenuists Unite!
Quote close clear2
~ANONYMOUS


Strikes, Foulballs, and BeanballsEdit

Attacks of ANONYMOUS hits Dutch school kids instead of Scientology! After the initial DDoS on Scientology server, the Church implemented a substitute server with Prolexic that only direct legitimate traffic to the real Scientology server. Knowing that their strikes has became foulballs, legions upon legions of ANONYMOUS went in search for the real IP for the Scientology. Due to Epic Fail in intelligence gathering on the part of the legion at 711chan, ANONYMOUS ends up DDoSing a Dutch School. Balls (of packets) thrown by ANONYMOUS didn't get strikes (on Scientology), didn't became foulballs (on Prolexic), and instead went beanballing (on innocent school kids). The first innocent bystanders and casualty of the war between ANONYMOUS and Scientology has occurred and it is getting ugly out there.

Operation LIONCASH Edit

DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

Anonymous does not do anything illegal





Project Illegal Number Edit

DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

Anonymous does not do anything illegal





Project NASA Edit

When NASA first announced that they were opening a poll to vote for their new space module, members of Anonymous immediately pounced on the poll and brought "Xenu" and "Mudkip" to the top of the suggestions list. This was then noticed by Colbert, and he proceeded to mention it on one of his episodes and instruct his loyal followers to vote for "Colbert", and by his might and loyal Cult members advocates of truthiness Colbert smote the commie group! CHECK AND MATE, Anonymous!

Anonymous IranEdit

AnonymousIran

A graphic for Anonymous' Iran Project.

Finding Assorted AssholesEdit

People Who Hurt PetsEdit

After spending millenia writing bad poetry, Anonymous turned its sights on unmasking people who hurt pets and post their crimes in the tubes.

As of 2014, Anonymous has successfully lead to the capture of three bastardfags:

  1. Kenny Glenn, the Animal Abuser (link is NSFW)
  2. Cat-trashing lady
  3. the Red-hooded puppy pitcher

MiscellaneousEdit

Pre-emptively Striking PedosEdit

HBGary and The Series of TubesEdit

Colbertanon

HBGary is a Series of Tubes security company whose mission is to protect our internets from evils like Anonymous and Wikileaks. HBGary is a start-up company but they posses the most sophisticated and the most technologically advanced security tubes that not even Anonymous can hack!

The CEO of HBGary, Aaron Barr, is the hero of the internet age. Secret sources indicates that Aaron was able to infiltrate Anonymous and steal their data... shhh... keep it a secret! With the help of the FBI, Aaron Barr has promised that they will take Anonymous down; he will be celebrated as a cyber-hero!


UPDATE: I am sorry to inform you that HBGary has gone out of business and they have filed for bankruptcy as a result of unforeseeable consequences.

Also Mr. Aaron Barr was found crawled up in a fetal position over a puddle of his own feces muttering that he wants his life back. We hear he will be spending a lot of time with his own family.

We would like to also point out that Aaron Barr was working alone and no one else was involved, that includes BERICO TECHNOLOGIES, PALANTIR TECHNOLOGIES, and THE US GOVERNMENT. They were fooled, they didnt know what they were doing.

Well played, Anonymous, well played.

Operation Trolls Gone WildEdit

Is the battle of trolls! Run for the hills!!!!!!

We got rickrolled... again...

Operation TPEdit

Sh#t just got real...

TodayEdit

HBGary has moved to better things, like watching over the series of tubes.

See Also Edit

External Tubes Edit

  • Fox News broadcast of July 27, 2007 exposing the evil terrorist activities of ANONYMOUS: [10]

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