2008 Resolutions
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Resolutions
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Be More Like Dick Cheney
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I resolve to be more like Dick Cheney by installing a man-sized safe in my house and shooting more friends in the face. And maybe consolidate the two ideas...somehow...--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 00:51, 17 December 2007 (UTC)
Eat Too Much Pie
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I resolve to be more like Mary Cheney and get me some poontange. 23:58, 30 December 2007 (UTC)Grazon
Kicking more Ass
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"I resolve to kick 17% more ass in all aspects of my life. YEAAAA!"
Welcome Back Stephen!
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I will not cry with joy when new episodes of The Colbert Report return. I WILL NOT CRY!!.... *sniff* --Careax 06:32, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
Dying
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I do not want to die this year. I have good chances becuase I'm still just a teenager but you never know. Still my New Years resolution is not to die. (and I'm still mad at the world for not letting the greatest president in the world run for president, Stephan Colbert.)
Be more like Stephen
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I promise to be 23% more Christian, American, Pro-gun, and Conservative
I resolve to be more like Mike...Huckabee
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I resolve in the New Year to only accept gifts that cost $500 or more from friends and wealthy supporters. http://www.guardian.co.uk/uselections08/mikehuckabee/story/0,,2227378,00.html
I resolve in the New Year to give jobs to aborted fetuses that otherwise would have gone to illegal alians. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-seery/huckabee-immigrants-are-_b_69576.html
I resolve in the New Year to use up the governnor's office emergency fund to destroy computer hard drives, even if they are property of the State Of Arkansas, on my way out of office.
http://www.nwanews.com/story.php?paper=adg§ion=News&storyid=179261
Learn Braille
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So that I can buy even more copies of Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And So Can You) in yet another format. I'm not handing them out to blind people, though. Pull up your bootstraps and get your own, sight-challenged! No free rides!
